Anticipatory Grief: Mourning Before the Loss
At Sound Insight Psychology, we often walk alongside individuals and families who are experiencing grief and/or feelings of loss before a loved one has even passed away. This is known as anticipatory grief—the emotional pain and mourning that begins before the actual loss occurs.
Whether you are supporting a parent with a terminal diagnosis, watching a partner’s memory fade, or navigating the slow decline of someone you love, anticipatory grief can be as intense—and sometimes more complex—than grief after a death.
What Is Anticipatory Grief?
Anticipatory grief is a natural response to knowing that a significant loss is coming. Unlike traditional grief, it unfolds while your loved one is still alive. It can include:
Sadness over the gradual changes in your relationship
Fear of the future and the unknown
Guilt for wishing for relief from suffering
Helplessness in the face of progressive decline
Loneliness as you begin to feel the emotional absence of someone physically present
You may grieve not just for the person, but for the roles they once played, shared memories that can no longer be made, and a future that will look different than expected.
Why Is It So Difficult?
Anticipatory grief is often isolating. Others may not recognize that you are grieving, or may urge you to “stay strong” or “focus on the present.” But naming this experience as grief—and giving yourself permission to feel it—is the first step toward healing.
People may also experience complicated emotions: moments of relief, anger, or even numbness. All of these reactions are normal. There’s no single right way to move through this process.
Supporting Yourself Through Anticipatory Grief
Acknowledge your feelings: You are allowed to feel sad, overwhelmed, or uncertain. Your emotions are valid.
Seek support: Whether through therapy, support groups, or trusted relationships, talking about your experience helps.
Find moments of connection: Create space for meaningful interaction with your loved one while they are still here, in whatever way is possible.
Practice self-compassion: This is not an easy road. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate it.
You’re Not Alone
If you’re grieving someone who is still with you, know that this, too, is grief—and it deserves care and attention. Anticipatory grief can be quiet and confusing, but you don’t have to move through it alone.
At Sound Insight Psychology, we support individuals and families navigating the emotional complexities of illness, caregiving, and change. Whether you’re struggling to make sense of shifting roles, feeling overwhelmed by what’s to come, or simply needing a space to talk, we’re here to help.
To learn more about working with one of our psychologists who specializes in grief and loss, visit our team page or get in touch with us here.
We’re here when you’re ready.
